How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work: 7 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive
The Mustang Daily relationship advice column, Ask Alicia, recently published a story entitled “Long-distance relationships: Romantic or doomed?” essentially explaining that long-distance relationships are dumb and are usually bound to fail.
Alicia Freeman, the highly qualified giver of this relationship advice admits in the first two paragraphs that she herself has never even been in a long-distance relationship. As someone who has been in one (failed) long distance relationship, I am clearly much more qualified, and I am here to tell you that long-distance relationships CAN work. All you have to do is follow these 7 tips.
1. Don’t visit each other. As the old cliche says, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Seeing your significant other often or at all just makes you want to be with each other more, which is impossible, thanks to the distance.
Also, most long-distance couples who are reunited for a visit also can’t keep their lovey dovey hands off of each other, which is uncomfortable for roommates, cashiers at the grocery store, professors, pastors and the guy at the bookstore who yells “GET A ROOM!” as you’re straddling each other in the chemistry section.
2. When you talk on the phone, make sure to tell each other every single detail of your day. There is nothing more exciting than hearing that your love-bucket had to use the 1% milk at Starbucks this morning because the non-fat canister was empty but they were in a hurry so they didn’t have time for the barista (who’s name was Steven with a ‘v’ and not a ‘ph’ and looked really familiar but they’re not sure from where) to refill the non-fat canister and it nearly ruined their day. The only thing better than hearing every minute detail that has no relevence to you, is hearing EVERY detail EVERY day.
3. Use technology to your advantage. Constantly text and call each other to the point where you literally don’t have time for anything else. You used to have to wait days for mail to go back and forth, but with texting, picture messaging, iMessaging, BBM, AIM, Hey Tell, phone calls, Facebook messages, Facebook wall posts, Facebook tags, Twitter, You Tube and Skype, you can utilize ALL these communication mediums at the same time and never spend a second apart! This works especially well with long-distance relationships in college, because you won’t even have time to do those other cool things or meet all those other awesome people who might distract you from your true love!
4. Make the other person remember how great you are. Sometimes when you’re apart from your significant other for a while, they can forget why it is they fell in love with you in the first place. Don’t just send them flowers or beer to remind them, TELL THEM. Communication is key in relationships, so tell them about all those girls that were trying to hook up with you at the party last night, or how your new guy friend you had lunch with told you how beautiful you were. They need to appreciate what they have!
5. Don’t just talk, DO something while you talk! Couples that do together, stay together. Try Skyping your boyfriend and bringing him with you to dinner in the cafeteria with your roommates. Or maybe bring your virtual girlfriend to the bathroom with you while you go number 2 instead of that issue of Cosmo you found laying around. It’s like you two are practically together!
6. Send care packages. Everyone likes mail, so try sending a package with some of these items sure to win them over:
- a jumbo ball and chain
- the Ex Voodoo Knife Set
- Screw You Corkscrew
- a padded bra
- a cactus
- clinical strength deodorant
- a scale
7. Don’t be faithful all the time. This is the single most important tip to keeping sparks in your relationship. If your lover thinks you may be with someone else, they WILL want you more. Everyone has seen that someone who isn’t very good looking and blow them off, and then you see them the next day with that smokin’ babe and they look a whole lot more interesting. The same principal works in long distance relationships.