Tag Archives: Cornish Pastries

The Hoof on the Street: Caffeine Addiction

Star reporter Cornish Pastries ventured out into some of Cal Poly’s caffeine hot spots to investigate the truth behind the serious problem of student caffeine addiction.


The Wierd and Wonderful Napping Hot Spots of Cornish Pastries

The Hoof sat down with field reporter, superstar, and Cal Poly student, Cornish Pastries, to find out how he finds time to sleep while constantly investigating and reporting on Cal Poly’s most important news stories and maintaining a stardom lifestyle to the likes of Charlie Sheen.  He answered with only one short word, “Naps.”  We walked around campus to get a first hand view of the locations of these naps, and snapped photos of Pastries himself recreating the scenes.  Click the beds on the map below to find some useful tips and interesting stories.

New Cal Poly News Blog Goes Viral

The Hoof's homepage with all of it's content.

SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA – A new news blog galloped into the cyberworld at record speeds following its launch earlier this week.

The Hoof has received over one million hits per day since its Tuesday launch, and is claiming to be “Cal Poly’s Finest News Source.”

“The Hoof is an improvement over the Mustang Daily, The Tribune, and The New York Times in both readership and awesomeness,” said Eve Teitelbaum, a second year Journalism major who created the blog,  “Cal Poly students, SLOcals, Congressmen, and Americans alike are getting their most important and reliable news from The Hoof.”

In its first two days, the blog has reached national attention and has even been endorsed by Steve Jobs and Walter CronkiteThe Hoof has no content yet, but is said to feature field interviews, investigative pieces and expert commentary on things that may or may not happen.

Juliet Knox, a Cal Poly second year biomedical engineering major thinks that the blog and the craze surrounding it is “F(#^*#g  sh&(*y because there’s nothing on the [darn] blog besides a picture of a f*&#&g* horse.”

Despite the lack of content, there is already somewhat of a cult following to the site.

“My friends and I haven’t slept in 48 hours because we can’t stop reading…well looking at…The Hoof.  I haven’t done any of my AP homework and I probably won’t get into college now, but its worth it,” said Simone Faith, a high school senior from Orange County.

Maher’s defaced issue of the latest Mustang Daily.

Faith isn’t alone.

“It’s difficult to remember how I ever found joy before The Hoof,” said Tara Maher, a second year Cal Poly English major, “The Mustang Daily just didn’t satisfy my needs.”

Along with the popularity of the blog, Hoof field reporter Cornish Pastries has experienced an instant rise to fame.  A week ago Pastries was a Cal Poly student with very few friends, who spent his time giving Cribs style tours of his home to himself and yelling at WOWies through car windows. Today he is the most “liked” celebrity on facebook, and has more twitter followers than Morgan Freeman.

“It’s mind blowing,” said Pastries, “Girls wouldn’t look at me before, and now there’s a literal line out my door of girls trying to get up on this [grabs his male parts].”

The Hoof has big plans for future stories and expansion, said Teitelbaum,  “I’d just like to thank all of The Hoof‘s followers, and promise that you will not be disappointed with what is in store.”

The Hoof On the Streets